“The Love Dare,” Day 1: “Love is Patient”

As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog post, I am embarking on a 40-day love project with the end goal being that God will soften my heart to be able to […]

As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog post, I am embarking on a 40-day love project with the end goal being that God will soften my heart to be able to unconditionally love all people.  As I explained yesterday, this would be the clearest example of God’s miracle-working abilities in my life. I am excited about the possibilities!

As you can see, I survived Day 1, even though it cut me all up.   In the book, The Love Dare, Day 1 is entitled “Love is patient,” and requires the participant to:

Resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.

As I mentioned yesterday, since I don’t have a spouse and am working on strengthening my relationship with Christ, I resolved to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to anyone, today.  Let me tell you, the temptation arose.  But, I am happy to report that meditating on the scriptures and the lessons from the book put me in the right spirit to persistently ask God to grant me patience.  As Stephen and Alex Kendrick wrote in The Love Dare:

Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness.  All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes. And that’s where your dare will begin. With patience.

Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Rather than being resltess and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.


Patience helps give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it.

“More time than they deserve.”  I’ve been internalizing that in every situation, from the man who almost ran me over on the sidewalk because he was so engrossed in his BlackBerry activities, to the elevator operator in my building who seemed to think I personally trapped her in a job she hated. God gives me more time than I deserve everyday, and I hope He never stops!

Verses that really hurt my feelings were found in 1 Corinthians 13:

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

This was exactly what I was dealing with, yesterday.  It doesn’t matter if the words you speak are true, if God gave you the words to say, if you’ve sacrificed everything to get the message across, if you speak without love, it means nothing and it profits nothing.

Another thing that hurt my feelings was that this reoccurring theme I’ve found in life, was also in the introduction to the book:

If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. The world says follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says taht “the heart is more deceitful than all else” (Jeremiah 17:9), and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment.

We dare you to think differently — choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.


The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, and transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better.

One day down, thirty-nine to go! Day 2: “Love is Kind.”

Become a fan of “The Dithering of a District Diva” on Facebook and Follow my “Love Dare” tweets on Twitter! Here are my day 1 tweets (read from the bottom up):

  1. 4 u hv need of steadfast patience&endurance so that u may perform&fully accomplish the will of God&thus receive what is promised. Heb 10: 36 about 12 hours ago via web
  2. I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry Psalm 40: 1 about 12 hours ago via web

  3. Let us triumph in our troubles&rejoice n sufferings knowing that pressure& affliction&hardship produce patient&unswerving endurance.Rom 5: 3 about 12 hours ago via web

  4. By your steadfastness and patient endurance you shall win the true life of your souls. Luke 21: 19 about 12 hours ago via web

  5. May the Lord direct ur hearts in2 showing the love of God & in2 the steadfastness & patience of Christ& in waiting 4 His return. 2 Thes. 3:5 about 12 hours ago via web

  6. Live with complete lowliness of mind & meekness, with patience, bearing w 1 another &making allowances bc u love 1 another. Ephesians4:2 about 12 hours ago via web

  7. But here are some scriptures I’ve been meditating on throughout the morning. about 12 hours ago via web

  8. Day 1’s dare is “Love is Patient.” I am supposed to be patient with any and everyone I meet today. siiiigh. its been hard. about 12 hours ago via web

  9. To cure my general lack of love for others, I’m embarking on a 40-day Love Dare, from the book The Love Dare http://tinyurl.com/28yu9xc

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About DCDistrictDiva

Brooke Obie is the District Diva, an award-winning spiritual life blogger, writer and author living in a cool district in Manhattan. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @BrookeObie.